Is this what love is ?

During this class and the many topics we covered it made me think about my life quit a few times. In relation to how females are viewed to different relationships with individuals it just boggled my mind. The piece we read called “Domestic Gulags” in Against love: A Polemic by Laura Kipnis brought me back to my current relationship of almost two years now. The reading made me think about why we even get ourselves into relationship and if they even mean anything at all versus just being with someone and never getting married. Laura discusses that we generally choose our mate on material and social assets that can compliment one’s self and in addition economic as well. The economic aspect of choosing a mate that is either equal or of higher status is the norm because no one wants a mate that is lower than the economic status that you are raised on.

The finding of a mate that is either going in the same direction or is already there is what I was looking for in a man. But I guess you cannot help who you fall in love with. Dating someone of a lower status then me has been kind of tough, as my father told me it would be. My father told me I should find someone who has more in common and going in the same direction because he does not what to see me struggle. Being that I was raised it a very fortunate environment he knows I have high expectations of needs and wants, exactly what Laura hit on. Pushing through the difference of levels of drive, with love on my side, not knowing whether it will keep the relationship together.

With relationships there come sacrifices both individuals have to make in order to make things work out in the long run. This is another point that Laura talks about in which she calls them “interdictions”. She talks about how people in relationships create prohibitions to keep their relationship from going off in any wrong direction so she list a bunch of things you “CAN’T” do as a couple. These interdictions are some reasons why couples have problems because you basically have all these rules to abide to that were never in place or even mattered when you were not a couple. I can testify that all these interdictions do occur from the fear of losing your significant other. I know this may cause problems in a relationship because the worried one may come off at being annoying and always wanting things their way. My significant other loafs when I get on him about things that I don’t like him doing and knows it. Having interdictions in relationship and solve a lot of problems before they even occur or it can cause them which is what often happens to me. I have endless arguments about things we do to each other that we know we should not be doing and get us to the point to where we just want to be done. It is all in the ups and downs of love.

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Delchrisha Young -002 

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